Lot’s of severe weather shit happening out there - tornadoes, floods, brush fires started by lightning. Here’s what I want to know - does it make me a bad person to hope that the only people flooded out are two-time Bush voters? That the flood waters know where to go and whose house to flood?

Does it make me a bad person to hope that those houses going up in flames from brush fires are owned by Bush Pioneers and other assorted Republican scum? What do you think?

Do you suppose any of these GOP cocksuckers think that eight years of Al Gore might have made a difference as they see grandma floating by in her rocker? Do you think they sense that global warming might just be real as they watch their dog Fluffy drift away on a piece of styrofoam to become ‘gator food? Do any of these selfish fucks think that “conservatism” might not be such a hot idea as they dig through what’s left of their house to find all the stupid shit they bought at WalMart?

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If you need more support for my idea that atheism (or a really serious fucking agnosticism) be a requirement for holding public office, here it is:

Rising Republican star Bobby Jindal signed legislation allowing judges to force convicted rapists to undergo chemical castration, the Louisiana Advocate reports:

“I am glad we have taken such strong measures in Louisiana to put a stop to these monsters’ brutal acts,” the governor said in a prepared statement.Jindal signed Senate Bill 144 into law on the day that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Louisiana cannot execute people who rape children under the age of 12.

The governor blasted the high court’s decision.

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Having already written once about how everything Vicki Iseman and McCain are openly accused of doing (as opposed to rumored to have done IN BED) is really just business-as-usual in Washington, I don’t really feel like repeating it. Actually, if they were boning that would be pretty common in Washington, too, but whatevs. Yawn. People cheat on their spouses! News at 11!

Anyway, having already said it’s business as usual, it turns out McCain totally agreed with me… and not just when he was defending himself this week. When he was deposed as part of Senator Mitch McConnell’s lawsuit against the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform bill, he agreed that meeting with Lowell Paxson and flying on his corporate jet with or without Vicki Iseman and taking his campaign contributions and writing the letter asking the FCC to vote on the station acquisition was business as usual… and that it looked kind of shady. Oh, um, oops. I mean, not that any of that stuff was actually eliminated under McCain-Feingold, or even under the more recent lobbying reform bill (though, they are supposed to pay something closer to the actual value of the corporate jet ticket), but, you know, it looks shady, which is why most Congress Members and Senators don’t like it out there that they do it ALL THE TIME.

Oh, and they might’ve boned. Which is the only reason the story got written in the first place.

A Hole in McCain’s Defense? [Newsweek]

Chris Matthews said the following thing on teevee earlier today:

I have to tell you, you know, it’s part of reporting this case, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear Barack Obama’s speech. My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don’t have that too often.

If tonight he wakes up after having a new kind of dream and mess in his shorts, hopefully he won’t tell us about it.

Chris Matthews: “I Felt This Thrill Going Up My Leg” As Obama Spoke [Huff Po]

The snake-handlers at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs told Pastor Ted Haggard before all and God this week that he needs to get lost and stay in Phoenix where everyone can and does fuck him in the ass without embarrassing the church elders back in the Rockies. In recent months, defrocked Pastor Ted has organized some kind of non-profit scam and said he and his wife are going to back to college to become psychologists. This way, Ted can sit in locked rooms with men and ask them if they can control their urges to fuck other men in the ass and throw out the ones who actually can - and reject the ones who refuse to tip him with mayonnaise jars filled with crystal meth, his drug of choice. His wife can treat the kids who will no doubt grow into knife-wielding psychopaths who will spend their lives trying to murder proxies of the Jesus who has made their lives a living hell. Die, Jesus, fucking die!

Pastor Ted, meanwhile has his own cable television show in Phoenix, through which he is attempting to organize a presidential campaign. “You assholes ain’t seen no real Jesus campaigning yet. This guy Huckabee is a fraud. Any asshole can make a Christmas commercial about fucking Christ. I can recite the Sermon to Gallotians - Paul’s Threatened Litigation Against the Phruity - while I shove a combat boot up my ass! How’s that for homoerotic fucking militarism and Jesus all wrapped up in a big shit-smeared TV campaign freak out? That’s really fucking presidential,” Pastor Ted said on a recent cablecast.

Press Release after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »