Cynics’ Party Special Correspondent Bill Clinton sat down for an exclusive interview with soon-to-be-indicted NY Governor Eliot Spitzer to talk about his life, his loves and the hundreds of hookers he boffed before he was bagged by the feds and finally fingered this month. Spitzer was giving the good news to so many hookers that his payment transfers triggered some kind of Suspicious Activity Reports. The feds thought the account activity was related to some kind of inside-politics bribe. Correspondent Clinton sat with Gov. Spitzer at his private library in Albany while Spitzer iced down his nuts, swollen and painful after his wife Silda Wall Spitzer kicked him halfway into a coma when the news broke.

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In case you were in a coma yesterday and also turn to our humble website as your single source of information, have we got news for you! Glance at any american newspaper today, or certainly any of the New York tabloids (Which I am moments away from going to buy– all of them, to have as keepsakes) you will see that Eliot Spitzer, Governor of the Empire State, crusader for all things right and just, has gotten ensnared in your typical your run-of-the-mill, career-ending, deeply-flawed character kind of scenario: he likes fucking whores. Expensive ones. We’ve read all the long articles in the Times as well as the affidavit from the investigation, and we’ll bring you a couple of our favorite details from this story, the best story that ever was, after the jump.

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