Is it just me, or is old, white, somewhat racist Joe Biden completely adorable?

On Monday he walked into a Ford plant in Macomb County, Mich., jumped behind the wheel of a red Mustang convertible and let loose with a few satisfying vroom-vrooms of the engine.

In Mansfield, Ohio, on Thursday, Mr. Biden made an improvisational stop at a diner, shook a bunch of hands and walked out into the sun holding a vanilla ice cream cone. “I’m dripping here, man,” Mr. Biden said to a well-wisher as he headed across the street to a carousel.
“Am I too old to get on it?” he asked no one in particular, then headed back to his campaign bus.
“Anyone need a ride?” he asked some people standing nearby. “I’ve got a nice bus.”

Also, he tapped a reporter’s chest, telling him, ‘You need to work on your pecs.’

Forget Barry, this guy’s the one I want. Relatable (which I put in italics due to the usual contempt I feel for a word people use when they talk about how they want to elect someone who’s as stupid as they are) and competent (that’s the kicker, right there). [The New York Times]

“If you’re sitting here today, you’re not economically illiterate and you’re not a whiner, so I’m not worried about who you’re going to vote for,” Gramm told supporters of McCain at a Financial Services Roundtable event in Minneapolis on the sidelines of the Republican National Convention.

Actually, I guess that sort of makes sense. [Bloomberg via TPM]

Leahy told Vogel yesterday the media has given McCain a free pass on flubs including mixing up Middle East geography, Shiite and Sunni Muslims, and referring to Russia’s relationship Czechoslovakia — a country that hasn’t existed for 15 years.

“It was the same way with Ronald Reagan in the last few years he was president,” Leahy said, referring to the belief that Reagan experienced early signs of Alzheimer’s disease late in his presidency.

That’s right, and McCain’s going to show communist Russia who’s boss all over again, bitches. [Politico]

Insane, sex-crazed men’s room predator Senator Larry Craig is refusing calls for historical re-enactments of his arrest last year for soliciting sex in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport bathroom during the GOP convention being held in St. Paul this fall.

Idaho Sen. Craig to Skip GOP Convention [Associated Press]

Hypocrite history re-enactors groups were thrilled at the prospect of Sen. Craig attending the convention and using the opportunity to replay the conquering bathroom goblin performance that landed him an arrest and charges for attempted schlong solicitation.

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From the Atlantic:

It’s odd that a movie that predicts ecological doom can in fact make one more certain that the human race will survive our current predicament. Any civilization that can produce something as technically and artistically sublime as Wall-E cannot be doomed.

Or, Wall-E world. Whatever. I get confused when it comes to movies that take place after our fuck-up of a government has assassinated the planet.

I recommend it, too. Those robots are so adorable, I want one inside me.

The brain-damaged screeners at Transportation Security Administration will be getting honest-to-goodness real life badges which they can flash at passengers to demand oral sex and bribes, convincing the really stupid ones that they have some kind of arrest powers.

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The Denver Police Department is throwing tens of thousands of dollars into assembly suppression technology that will no doubt be employed to terrorize the Democratic National Convention this fall, including pepper-ball ordnance, the likes of which killed a Massachusetts college student when it ripped through her eye and exploded inside her skull, leaving her to die in horrific pain after an altercation in October 2004.

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Genocidal fuckwit George ‘Caligutard’ Bush is the most hated president in 27 years, a reviled dog whose cult of avarice and ignorance has disintegrated with just 24 percent of Americans believing he is not the Satanic spawn that the rest of thinking America knows that he is.

SMH: Bush Hits Rock Bottom in Opinion Poll

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Hillary Clinton is finished trying to win real states (well, except for Florida and Michigan), but she may take many of the 55 delegates that Puerto Rico has to offer. Who knew that a tiny island full of minorities was allowed that many votes? The latest poll has her leading Obama 51% to 38%. According to Bill Clinton, she is already the Senator of Puerto Rico:

She represents more Puerto Ricans than anyone in the world except someone who is elected here. Send the message back to the mainland on Sunday that Puerto Rico deserves to be considered and its potential is unlimited if only you had a genuine partner in the White House.

Also, she has the backing of Ricky Martin, who I think is President of Puerto Rico, but also sings songs about soccer and dances in a way that I can only dream to. [CNN]

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been bad this week. I was trying to get people to pay me to do stuff so that I can keep doing this, off galivanting on a business trip and writing about how dating sucks and crap like that. But what I was totally obsessed with writing was a little piece for the fucking Washington Post called 5 Myths About Lobbyists. Read! Enjoy! I’ll post more later, I promise.