It was either this or Yet Another Contrarian Electoral Essay. We figured you could use a break.

The Onion [via Sully]

If there’s one thing we do fear this fall, it’s not the increasingly whimsical attack ads, but the Rovian ground game. While we remain confident that 51 percent of the American electorate will come to their senses soon enough, we’re not at all confident they’ll actually be allowed to, y’know, vote.

Let’s start with a taste of Andrew Hacker’s article in the latest New York Review, which reminds us of the score to date:
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Sarah “Pussy” Palin, craven understudy leader of the free world, remains too chickenshit to face the public without a script written by somebody else, raising serious questions about her ability to answer a 3 p.m. call from David Gregory, much less a 3 a.m. alarm about Vladimir Putin.

John McCain, Barack Obama and Joe Biden will all be appearing on the Sunday chatterfests today. Cuddles Wallace held open a slot for Palin, but she had a nervous fit and will be flying back to Alaska to shoot things that don’t shoot back. “She calls herself a pit bull, but she’s acting like a poodle,” says a well-placed blogger, speaking on condition that the neighbors turn down their fucking TV at night.

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• how parents chose children’s names is not trivia (FuturePil()t, 05:05, 31 August 2008)
• pregancy water broke 11-hour flight on AS flight + 16 year old daughter might got pregnant and covered up (FuturePil()t, 05:04, 31 August 2008)
• Alan Colmes has reported Track was born less than 8 months after the Palins’ elopement. (Maxbox51, 04:21, 31 August 2008)
• there is no “consensus” just b/c you nakedly assert there is (PassionoftheDamon, 03:08, 31 August 2008)

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So much to choose from… Troopergate… Creationism… That voice that takes the F out of GILF…

Hey, let’s start with her vicious attacks on polar bears!

Earlier this month, the state of Alaska under Palin’s guidance sued Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne in an attempt to reverse his decision to list polar bears as a threatened species. Palin said that scientists’ predictions that global warming will eliminate the ice where the bears live in summer were unreliable.

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Sources: Obama picks Joe Biden as VP candidate [CNN]
Obama to Name Sen. Joseph Biden As Vice Presidential Running Mate [WSJ]
Breaking: Obama selects Joe Biden as his VP running mate [LAT]
Obama Chooses Biden as Running Mate [NYT]
The ticket: Obama-Biden [Politico]

Update: It’s sent! CNN reports the messages started rolling out at 3 a.m. Eastern, and the slick graphics are up on his website.

(From left: Barack Obama, Rick Warren, Rick Warren, and Sam Brownback.)

The Saddleback Roundup starts at 7 8 p.m. Eastern, CNN, MSNBC and Fox will be broadcasting it, and we’re desperately seeking excuses not to liveblog it.

Unless Bob Barr storms the sanctuary, of course. Nothing spices up an event like a purpose-driven Libertarian.

Update: Make that 8 p.m. Eastern. We’ll be lining up our livebrews around 7:45.

Barr goes to court to demand entry into Saddleback Church [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

At the Iowa State Fair, John McCain participates in a tableaux honoring his cogenerationist Thomas Nast. In a related story, Dick Cheney will speak the first night of the Republican convention.

McCain at the Iowa State Fair [NYT]

Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers will simultaneously publish inspirational picture book biographies of Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton. The exceptional accomplishments of these larger-than-life politicians will be highlighted in their individual illustrated biographies.
– PR Newswire

Hillary Hears a Who

Oh, no.
I can not hear your call.
I can not hear your call at all.
This is not good
and I know why.
A mouse has cut the wire.
Good-by!

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