In what is either the greatest threat to Western civilization since fluoridation, or the solution to a Malthusian future where riots break out over suspiciously tasty green crackers, researchers have discovered a link between soy consumption and reduced male fertility.

And the soy industry is not taking it laying down.

Nigel Duffin, who runs the Soya Protein Association when he’s not moonlighting as lead guitar for Spinal Tap, claims the Harvard report fails to tell the whole load-blowing story:
Read the rest of this entry »

Obama trip could push rock-star persona to new heights [Fox]

Hysteria alert: Barack Obama starts world tour [Times UK]

Networks follow Obama overseas [Reuters]

Poll: Obama elicits more excitement than McCain [USA Today]

Obama-palooza [MSNBC]

Hunter S. Thompson may have got there first, but Meredith Smith went out in style last night: Kissing the sky as his ashes were launched in a fireworks shell.

Smith, who died in February, ran his Indiana community’s fireworks show for forty years, sometimes funding it out of his own pocket. His widow fired the final shell, which exploded in a white burst after the regular spectacular finale.

Commemorative tees called the blast “The Last Shot”.

Read the rest of this entry »

While it’s hard to top talking urinal cakes as a proper homage to 43, we have a soft spot in our hard heart for what we used to call “participatory satire”, but to be geek hip we’ll now call “citizen satire“.

And what better place to be geek hip than San Francisco?

a group going by the regal-sounding name of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is planning to ask voters here to change the name of a prize-winning water treatment plant on the shoreline to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

Read the rest of this entry »

Honestly, we were joking when we called Bobby Jindal a child abuser. Well, no we weren’t. But we were speaking metaphorically. We weren’t accusing Our Favorite Exorcist of physically harming children.

Not like this guy.

Meet John Freshwater, a good Christian who teaches science in Mount Vernon, Ohio. His competencies include promoting Creationism, questioning carbon-dating, and damning homosexuals.

Oh, and burning crosses into the flesh of students.

Read the rest of this entry »

According to the University of Mississippi’s “Potency Monitoring Project”, THC in dope now averages 9.6 percent, double the effectiveness from 1983. We also hear the waiting list for lab assistants now runs three years.

Marijuana more potent than ever [LAT]

So, you spent some quality time trying to be the Demrats’ best demagogue since Huey Long, but it didn’t work out. Time to command the troops you’ve riled up to draw ranks and defeat the common enemy. How’d that go?

Read the rest of this entry »

Programming apologizes for this week’s interruption of Bound for Glory by The Blair Witch Project. We’re taking steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

Clinton to quit campaign Saturday at noon [MarketWatch]

Fucking mockingbirds. Well, now that we’re awake, let’s liveblog the mofo…

11:44 a.m.: Cut back to Donna Brazile, CNN. Make us happy.

11:46 a.m.: Candy Crowley: “She doesn’t want to be looked at as the skunk in the party.” Whoops!

11:47 a.m.: This is a major production for a concession speech. There must be a Firesign Theatre album that got there first.

Read the rest of this entry »

Saturday? Never happened. (Thanks, JNOV!)